Thursday, January 1, 2026
New year, new me, right? That's what everyone says. I downloaded this app because my therapist keeps telling me to journal, and I keep telling her I don't know what to write. So here I am, at 11:47 PM on January 1st, finally doing the thing. Happy New Year to me, I guess.
I'm skeptical about this whole Stoic thing. Philosophy feels like something for people with more time than problems. But something about the description caught me - "not about suppressing emotions, but understanding them." I've tried suppressing. It doesn't work. I just explode eventually, usually at the wrong person at the wrong time.
The party tonight was fine. Same faces, same small talk, same countdown. But I stood there at midnight feeling completely disconnected from the celebration. Everyone cheering, and I'm thinking about the project deadline next week, about whether I paid the electric bill, about whether my mom is actually okay or just saying she is.
Maybe that's why I need this. I'm never where I am. I'm always three steps ahead, worrying about things I can't control. If these old dead philosophers figured out how to deal with that, I'm willing to listen.
Let's see if an AI can teach me something about being human. The irony isn't lost on me.
Stoic AF Response
Generated at 11:52 PM
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
Look at you. 11:47 PM, last day of the year, finally doing the thing you've been putting off. That's not nothing. Most people make the resolution and break it by January 3rd. You showed up before the year even technically began. Credit where it's due.
You said something important: "I'm never where I am." That's the whole game, right there. You're at a party thinking about electric bills. You're in the present, living in the future. The Stoics had a word for this kind of mental time travel - they called it "premeditation of evils," but only when done intentionally. What you're doing? That's just anxiety wearing a planning costume.
Here's the thing about Stoicism that most people get wrong: it's not about becoming emotionless. Marcus Aurelius wasn't a robot - he wrote his Meditations while literally fighting wars and dealing with plague. He felt everything. He just learned to distinguish between what he could control (his responses) and what he couldn't (everything else). That's the dichotomy of control, and it's going to become your new best friend.
Tomorrow, when you catch yourself worrying about something, ask: "Is this within my control?" Write down what happens. Don't judge it. Just notice.